Process of Perception

I do the same thing every tuesday morning. I slowly walk through the doors of the office, still caught between dreams and reality. I grabbed my coffee, open up the office, and headed to devotions.

Each tuesday we have devotions, with a rotation of people who lead. Today it was our assistant superintendent's turn, which I always enjoy. This time he had with him a pastor from a foreign country, who do not have the rights that we enjoy. Right away this caught my attention. The pastor began to talk about his experience here in the states, how he is enjoying it, and how much different our culture is from his.

He began to talk about the freedoms he didn't have, the things he could not enjoy. He spoke of struggles that people face in his country, and how the Church is under constant surveillance and scrutiny of the government. He reminded us of how grateful we should be for all that we have.

He continued to speak of the different things he saw in the American church and culture: closets filled with clothes, "giving up" our expensive coffee for a missions fundraiser, and churches with walls. He spoke of how in his country, people will travel in hurricane conditions to be at church. He explained the layers of government surveillance that comes through his church on a regular basis to make sure that the church is not stirring up people against the government. He spoke of a church of 650 people who meet in a building with no walls, and couldn't use their basement because of recent flooding issues.

When he first got to the states, he simply asked "I want chocolate." He was asked, "what kind of chocolate, milk chocolate, fudge, dutch, semi-sweet? What?" "No, I just want chocolate was his response." I looked down at my coffee, a mint mocha, and realized the simplest things I take for granted.

His comments and other recent events reminded me of what I have been pondering lately:

It's funny the things we consider suffering in America. It's even more peculiar the things we consider trials. I am not downplaying the serious issues many people face each day from abuse, tragedy, and such, but there is so much we look at as suffering, that simply is not.

I remember recently walking through the office, and the receptionist asked, "having a bad day?" My auto-response wanted to say, 'yes!' It was a busy day, a hectic day, things were not getting done as quickly as I would have liked, and people were not returning my calls. I would have thought it a bad day. However recent events caused me to pause for a moment and look at her and say, "no, its busy, but I'm not having a bad day. People in Haiti, they are having a bad day."

I've been contemplating perception, the way I look at life, my situations, what I struggle with. I hear stories like the pastor who spoke to us in devotions; I see the tragedies taking place in Haiti and Chile; I hear of families struggling with tragedy from death and disease. I realize that I have much to be grateful for.

When the 12 spies went in to the promised land, they all viewed the same thing. They saw the land, the people, the cities. 10 spies came back "seeing" what was in the way. 2 came back seeing all the God was ready to provide for them. Paul and Silas sat in a jail far worse than any dorm room I have seen at Bethany. With death potentially knocking at their door, they looked at their situation and began to sing.

Would I have sung a song? Would I have agreed with the ten spies. To often we forget that God is on our side. He goes before us. He guides our steps. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" The Pastor who spoke to us in devotions gets this. He knows circumstances and situations don't determine our perception. He doesn't see what is in his way, he remembers Who is with him; Who is on his side.

It seems so many of our problems we face are not due to what we lack, but what we have an excess of. An abundance of food has lead to health problems; an abundance of wealth has led to overwhelming debt; and abundance of knowledge had let to a lack of wisdom and dependence on God. a misuse of God's blessings are is tragedy.

All good things come from God. Let us remember that God remains so very good to us. Let us remember who has provided all these blessings. Let us remember that he has called us to be good stewards of all that he has blessed us with. Let us remember who God has called us to be. Let us be grateful, and let us never forget.

Apparition of Man

Apparition of Man

What is it to have a dream?
Or has it been lost to shadows;
Or did I never have one?

If there really is a song
The music has stopped playing;
Or did I never hear one?

I have fought for a cause
That’s become delusion;
Or did I ever know it?

I chase a sort of living
That I have been told
I should desire to attain
[Why did I?]

I have bought in to this:
A dream that isn’t real,
A reason that isn’t true.

Choice without responsibility,
Luxury without consequence,
Selfishness without pain.

Salvation without repentance,
Peace without suffering,
Hope without longing.

Grace without forgiveness,
Faith without dependence,
Freedom without humility.
[It is a fable]

We open up our minds,
With no filter for our hearts,
To a world of noise and sound.

We responded in kind;
replacing truth and wisdom,
Defended with wit and reaction.

We pardon self-indulgence,
Protect our self-seeking life,
In fleeting acts of momentary justice.

Parade our mirage around,
Appearance of our own creation,
An eerie echo in our hollow soul.
[It was an apparition]

We have come to believe:
We’re the makers of our demise;
A false dream of no eternity.

Humanity's delusion, a nightmare
Exposing us to no peace,
No rest, if this all there is.

I have been with anger’s pain
I sip the outcome’s bitter cup
No one told me about this.

Don’t ask me these questions
I don’t need to look in a mirror to
See the truth of what I really am
[I Feel Naked Already]

This sober truth reveals tales;
Fiction we thought was certain.
Still, we hope to find Truth.

The Spirit calls us to come
To find rest from our weariness,
Rescue for the hurting soul.

The Cross remains before us,
Reaching for those left bare;
Love calling out in the echo.

The Father stands looking,
Extending arms of redemption,
Hope in eternity we long for.
[Rest]

As is common in the adventures of my life, I found myself again, along the rocky cliffs of Santa Cruz. The weather was stormy, windy, and cold. One step outside of my car, and I realized I had forgotten my jacket. So I ventured quickly to the edge of the sea to absorb for a few brief moments the violent beauty that I have grown to love. The oceans ripples were seen everywhere as the wind blew across the face of the sea. The waves crashed along the edge of the coast, creating a beautiful sound only heard in nature. I enjoyed every minute of it.

Not wanting to upset the masses, I quickly jumped back in my car, and headed to church. It was on this drive to church that I saw for a brief moment the vivid contrast to what I just experienced. Four children stood fighting the wind. It was picture perfect really. Now I am sure that they were having the time of their life, fighing the sea as they would throw pebbles at the ocean with everything they had. Keep in mind, they weren't just tossing them over the cliff with half efforts. No, they were heaving with everything they had, little rocks against the violent wind. It was an epic battle, with no hope of victory for the four valiant warriors.

It reminded me of a couple things. First, it seems like that is how we are with God sometimes. Our futile attempt to fight Him is liking throwing rocks at the wind. He comes to bring winds of change that will be to our benifit, and the first thing we do is pick up our rocks of tradition to fight this change. We pick up or pebbles of position becuase we don't like the winds of change that God is bringing. It may threaten our postions of power, or traditions, or current comforts. Yet, these are the very things that God wants to crash against. Its the very reason he is shaking us up.

I will be first to tell you I do not like change. I do like being thrown of the course that I have set in the sea of life, yet it seems so often that God brings along the winds to change my direction, because He knows I am needing to head a different direction. It is in these travailing winds that I find God moving me toward who he desires me to be and what he desires me to become

I guess what made the image of the kids fighting against the wind, is that I saw myself standing on those shores. I am spiritually, emotionally, and foolishly throughing rocks against the wind. I guess its time to stop, and stand with my face in the wind, and enjoy the ripples and tides that God has brought to me during this time.

It's time to embrace the wind.